You have probably heard of the 5 love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. Dr Chapman, a marriage counselor, created the 5 love languages to address the issues that repeatedly arose in his couples counseling sessions. Couples take a quiz of about 31 questions, and the results show their top percentages within 5 categories (Physical touch, Quality time, Gifts, Acts of service, and Words of affirmation). The 3 categories with the highest % reveals the main love language of each partner. Couples are to utilize this information to love their partner better and grow closer by doing more of the things that fall in the top 3 categories.
In the arena of self-love, I believe we would also be well served to identify our personal love language. What do we do for ourselves that make us feel better loved and well cared for? What is most important to us when it comes to filling our cups with self-love, self-care, healing, destressing, and mental healthiness?
My 5 areas of self-love languages are:
- Relaxation – spa day, napping, reading, gazing at the clouds, listening to jazz, ordering delivery, a good movie
- Healing – therapy session, reading self-help book, journaling, practicing forgiveness, yoga, organizing/tidying, soaking bath
- Creative Expression – writing (poetry or short stories), coloring, karaoke, dancing, cooking/baking
- Spiritual Expression – meditating, praying, affirmations, reading spiritual text, spiritual course
- Fun & Discovery – playing games, shopping therapy, discovery adventures (i.e., museum), foodie adventures, cooking/baking, traveling
Take some time to think about the top 5 areas of self-care that are meaningful to you. You can adopt the list above or adjust it to fit your specific desires. By identifying your personal areas, you inform yourself of what to do when you are feeling lack in any of these areas. You begin to practice treating yourself better and being in tune with what heals and sustains you.
Your list answers the question of what to fill your cup with. Write your list in a journal or post it in your bedroom. Find joy in choosing from the list daily (because self-care is a daily practice, not just for the weekends). Adjust it as you grow and change, but most importantly be sure to engage in the activities that heal you and make you whole. Here’s wishing you have as much fun as possible in filling your cup each day!